The one in which I complain.
July 21st, 2010
Because I’ve never done THAT before…
I’m getting fed up with people who:
1. Don’t return my emails.
2. Don’t pay their invoices.
3. Don’t read their emails in a timely manner (responding to my email of 10 days ago is not timely).
4. Contact me about a photo session but then never respond if they want to book or not even after I follow up!
and a bunch of other stuff.
Ya I know, it’s the trials of running a business but it’s my business so I can complain if I wanna! 
December 18
May 27th, 2010
I think I posted about this particular day on the calendar before, but recently something popped up so I must bring it up again.
Hubby was going through a box and he came across an old notebook of mine. In it were some notes I had scribbled when I found out I was pregnant with SweetiePie. In it were my pregnancy blood test results and a date…Dec 18. I remember I was trying to figure out when we conceived her to figure out my due date. So, her conception date is Dec 18.
To sum up:
December 18, 2004 - SweetiePie was conceived
December 18, 2007 - Had a D&C due to a blighted ovum (egg that never fertilized properly)
December 18, 2008 - Munchkin (who now goes by Monster in our house) was born
Coincidences? Perhaps. All part of God’s plan - most likely!
Today, on Thankful Thursday, I am very thankful for the meaning this date plays in my heart and very thankful for my two beautiful children and awesome husband.
What are you thankful for today?
Meh
May 10th, 2010
I’ve been feeling really dumpy lately. The house is constantly a mess, and I sit on the computer instead of facing it. It’s mostly the kids’ toys and dishes. My floors need a good wash too. I feel really overwhelmed by it all, and when that happens, I ignore things.
We went to my sister’s house for Mother’s Day which I really didn’t enjoy very much. I find being in a room with so many people really exhausts me. It was too cold to sit outside so we were all couped up like chickens. We had Swiss Chalet for dinner.
My mom told me that one of my sister was hurt because my eldest sister didn’t invite her over, and that the first sister was upset with me for also not inviting her. I was under the assumption my eldest sister was doing all the inviting. Apparently she put it as a status on her Facebook. Un-freaking-believable. That really bothered me. Honestly, how dumb can you be?
I messaged my sister on FB apologizing to her. She said that mom wasn’t supposed to tell me about that. Figures. My mom doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut sometimes.
I’ve been really snippy lately, and I don’t like it.
Munchkin is cutting about 3,127 teeth and is a total grump. Poor kid. He was up for an hour in the middle of the night cuddling with me. I’m very tired this morning.
Maybe if I can get this house cleaned up I will feel better.
Confused and frustrated.
May 5th, 2010
Hubby and I have a big decision to make, but first I need an answer from a person I emailed last night and she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Patience Jen…patience.
There is a developer that wants to build six, 20 story high-rises and townhouses on a 9.9 acre of land around the corner from my house. I would be able to see these buildings from my windows, but that’s not what concerns me. It’s the drain to an already strained infrastructure in the area. It’s also going to take 10-15 years to build all this. Despite the city rejecting this development, the Ontario Municipal Board overturned the decision. Personally I don’t think they should be allowed to do this but who am I.
Anyway, to make a long story short, it’s gotten hubby and I considering moving out of the area, and fast. Although the city is trying to get the OMB decision overturned, if that is not successful, construction could start as early as this winter. The time to sell our house is now, before potential buyers catch wind of this crazy development and our house value goes down.
Financially we can’t afford to move. If we do sell, we’ll end up having to rent a house because we won’t have enough from the sale of our house to have a down payment on our next house, unless the mortgage broker I emailed last night has a different answer for me. I’m pretty sure we need 25% to put towards our next house.
I don’t want to go back to renting because I know it means we will likely never own a home again.
I don’t know where we should move to.
I don’t know if I can handle staying here and watching my neighbours and friends move away.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m trying to give this to the Lord, but it is weighing so heavily on my heart that I’m not having much success.
I do know that I love this neighbourhood, my friends here, SweetiePie’s school. I do know that I’m extremely mad that this stupid development is happening.
I don’t know what to do next.
On the mend
May 4th, 2010
For the first time in about 5 days, I woke up being able to speak this morning! The last five days I couldn’t get a word out of me until I had my coffee. I’m still a bit rough sounding, but it’s getting better.
SweetiePie came home from my mom and dad’s house last Sunday with a cold. By Monday night I had it. By Wednesday Munchkin had it and yesterday, hubby got it. I went to the doctor yesterday because I felt like I was getting worse instead of better. She prescribed a nasal spray for me. Oh joy!
We’ve gone through 5,201,567 facial tissues over the last week. Munchkin has been a continual bucket of snot, meanwhile, SweetiePie refuses to blow her nose, saying she “doesn’t know how”. She does, she just doesn’t like it.
Anyway, enough of my complaining. Time to start my day!
Ooops…
May 3rd, 2010
I hadn’t realized it’s been 2 months since I last blogged. Bad Jen. I guess I haven’t had much to blog about. I’ve been busy with the kids and the photography business so life is good.
This past week a few things happened that made me realize I have something I need to work on, with God’s help of course. I realized that I get offended quite easily. I guess I’ve always known that, but knowing that and realizing that are two different things.
I know I’m stubborn which is probably also why I get offended easily. Something else I need to work on. I’m just like my parents - both are stubborn so it’s inherited…not my fault, right? ha ha!
What I’m struggling with is how to overcome being offended easily. One thing I’ve identified is that I don’t like being questioned about choices I’ve made. I realize that makes people feel like they should walk on eggshells around me. My mom always prefaces things with “Now don’t get mad, I have something to ask you/tell you.” Oh boy! I don’t want people to feel like that, especially my husband, children and my close friends.
I guess what I need to do is to not react right away. Step back, take a deep breath and figure out why I’m feeling offended or being stubborn about something, and ask God for guidance. He’s never failed me before, so I need to trust Him.
If anyone has gone through this, or is going through something similar, I’d really like to hear from you. I know I’m not alone out there when it comes to struggling with issues. Talking through things really helps me. 
And I won’t take 2 months to blog again…I hope!
The year that changed my life.
February 24th, 2010
Today during Coffee Break (which is a women’s fellowship group I attend at Kate’s church) we started a bible study by Beth Moore called the Inheritance. Beth started out her seminar by talking “The year that changed my life.” She talked about how everyone experiences a year in their life where something profoundly changes, and she hopes that through this particular bible study that perhaps this year will be the year that changes someone’s life.
I thought about her words and thought about my life in the last few years and I feel like I’ve already had that year that changed my life. I also think that I will have other years in the future that will change my life, but for this post’s purpose, I will talk about the year of 2008.
My year started out terribly. I was still reeling from my miscarriage on Dec 18, 2007 (the date of my D&C). The second week back to work after Christmas, I was fired from my job. It took me a long time to admit that I was fired but I’m finally at a point where I can accept that I was fired. It wasn’t for lack of trying at my job mind you, I just wasn’t the right fit for the company.
So, there I was, pregnant-less (new word…make note), job less and had no idea how we were going to pay the mortgage and our bills. I immediately went into “I need to find a job mode.” Within a few days I had an interview set up as an HR Consultant with a travel company. The thought of going to that interview made me sick to my stomach. I ended up canceling the interview.
TechMan and I discussed it at great lengths and we decided that it would be OK for me to become a stay at home mom, at least for a little while. Perhaps I’d find a part-time job or do daycare or do something to help pay the bills. We had some unemployment coming in so I had some time to find something. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest.
Fast-forward to March. We met with our mortgage broker and was able to consolidate our debt into our mortgage payments. Another huge weight off our chests! We had a nice income tax refund and I bought my first DSLR camera. At first I thought it’d just be for hobby use. Then I started taking pics of my friend’s kids and someone said to me “you know, you’re kinda good at this. Maybe you should start a business.”
Me run my own business? Are you kidding me? Well ok I guess we can give it a shot.
Along came May and my first paying client. A maternity client no less! I was a nervous wreck! Apparently I did well though because she placed a nice sized order. I also did her newborn pictures a few months later.
Oh, and did I mention that in April I found out I was pregnant again?
I had a wonderful summer home with SweetiePie, socializing with my friends, going on playdates. It was awesome. In September I started attending the fellowship group and opened my heart and mind to God as I never had before.
The fall months were also wonderful and I had more photography clients. I’m so thankful for those clients who really took a chance on this new photographer who really didn’t have a clue about running a photography business!
Along came December 13 - my due date for Munchkin - and it went. 4 days later, I was at Coffee Break, complaining to anyone who would listen that I was ready for Munchkin to be born! I went to my midwife appointment who told me it’d likely be another week. That night I complained to Melissa on MSN again about how I wanted this baby to be born and getting quite upset that I was 5 days overdue!
That night I went into labour and Munchkin was born at 6:05 am on December 18, 2008. Note the date - exactly 1 year to the day of my D&C from my miscarriage. I only realized that it was the exact date when Munchkin’s first birthday rolled around.
Where am I going with all this (if you’ve made it this far)? This is the year I gave control to God. I stopped worrying about things I had no control over. I prayed about concerns in my life and asked for guidance. I started listening to Him when whispered in my ear, and I feel that my life is better, my soul is being nourished and I’ve stopped being nitpicky about things that don’t really concern me!
I look at myself today vs. who I was 2-3 years ago. I’m a much happier person. I have two great kids, a wonderful husband and a successful photography business. I have wonderful friends both off and online and I have God to thank for it all.
Happy Birthday Grandma!
February 22nd, 2010
Today would’ve been my grandma’s 90th birthday. She passed away on November 27, 2005 (the day before my birthday). I miss her a lot. I still feel bad for not spending as much time with her as I could have in her last few months. I took for granted that she wasn’t going to die yet, know what I mean? I had no idea she wasn’t well but that’s not an excuse. I don’t know why I still dwell on this. I’ve prayed to her and I know she knows I love her but it still hurts.
If there is someone in your life that you should be spending time with, but aren’t, make sure you do. Don’t take life for granted like I did.
On a happier note, today is also Munchkin’s first baptism birthday. :) We’re going to light his candle later today when TechMan is home.
Thankful Thursday
February 11th, 2010
I haven’t done a TT post in a very long time. I have been thankful for things, of course, and I’m happy to blog about them again. So, today I am thankful for:
- This being my last day of doing daycare. We had another incident after school yesterday that only re-affirmed my decision to end this.
- The beautiful sun that is shining in my windows!
- Having two beautiful children and a loving husband.
- That loving husband bringing me a large double double (coffee) and a sausage breakfast sandwich from Tim Horton’s this morning!
- Being able to attend Coffee Brake with Kate again next week.
- The little surprise my husband will be receiving at work today.
- Being able to stay home and raise my children.
- My photography business doing well.
- Social Networking - I love it!
What are you thankful for today?
